Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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