HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
