I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
