I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
