Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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