Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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