Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
