white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
