You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
