After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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