and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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