Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
