her vagine was all disorganized.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
