I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize