Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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