PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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