I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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