I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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