I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We got so high we made milksteak
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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