I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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