In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Green mimosas i think yes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
