garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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