a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
