took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No subtext here. People are naked.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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