they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
