I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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