Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
