So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I fill condoms, not promises.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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