i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
as a side note pls kill me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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