Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
