think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
