I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I understand Curling. That high.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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