textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
