And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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