she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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