he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
