we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
