yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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