it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
