Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
