Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
