yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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