I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize