only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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