you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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