she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
