i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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