Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
