so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
