It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
