I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize