U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
