whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize