Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
