best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
