what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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