I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
