but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
