Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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