i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.