i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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